#Funyny quotes about endings how to#
#Funyny quotes about endings software license#

вЂ“ Christopher MorleyДЄll my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. вЂ“ Unknown Funny Quotes On LifeДЄ man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life. The people who need it most never use it. Luckily for you, they canвЂ™t laugh either! вЂ“ UnknownД¬ommon sense is like deodorant. Can I interest you in aВ sarcastic comment? вЂ“ ChandlerДonвЂ™t drink and driveвЂ¦You might hit a bump and spill your drink. IвЂ™m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.ДonвЂ™t talk about yourself so muchвЂ¦ weвЂ™ll do that when you leave.Д«ehind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. I want my children to have all the things I couldnвЂ™t afford. IвЂ™m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. It is better to fart and feel the shame than hold and feel the pain. My mother loved children вЂ“ she would have given anything if I had been one. I never feel more alone than when IвЂ™m trying to put sunscreen on my back. When IвЂ™m on my death bed, I want my final words to be вЂњI left one million dollars in theвЂ¦ вЂњLotвЂ™s of things happen after you die вЂ“ they just donвЂ™t involve you.вЂќ Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. вЂ“ Oscar WildeДЄ childвЂ™s greatest period of growth is the month after youвЂ™ve purchased new school clothes. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush. It doesnвЂ™t matter if you answer yes or no. When your mother asks, вЂDo you want a piece of advice?вЂ™ it is a mere formality. Then we can finally go to that restaurant my girlfriends always talking about. Someone should open up a restaurant called вЂњI donвЂ™t careвЂќ. ItвЂ™s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Women spend their whole life to find the right man just to tell him every day that he is wrong. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

#Funyny quotes about endings how to#

вЂ“ Anthony BurgessДoes anybody know how to disable the auto-correct feature on my wife ?Д«y all means letвЂ™s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. But if you want to make someone laugh, you might need to think outside the box.

ItвЂ™s not always easy to come up with a funny one-liner. вЂ“ Jean Kerr Have you ever wondered what to say to someone to make them laugh? Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself вЂ“ like, for instance, he canвЂ™t find any clean socks. I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was вЂYouвЂ™ll never find anyone like me again!вЂ™ IвЂ™m thinking, вЂI should hope not! If I donвЂ™t want you, why would I want someone like you?вЂ™ вЂ“ Priyanshu Singh And now that youвЂ™ve come into my life вЂ“ IвЂ™ve changed my mind. I always wanted to have someone, someone to love. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts. ThatвЂ™s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom. вЂ“ DoryДЄge is something that doesnвЂ™t matter unless you are a cheese. Of course, I donвЂ™t really remember yesterday all that well. вЂ“ Groucho MarxД«efore you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. IвЂ™ve been looking for a girl like you вЂ“ not you, but a girl like you. If the world were ruled by women then there would be no warвЂ¦ just couple of nations not talking with each other. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. If the bus came would I be standing here? вЂ“ Billy ConnolyД«efore you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, вЂњHas the bus come yet?вЂќ. If youвЂ™re gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes вЂ“ make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast. If at first you donвЂ™t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. ThereвЂ™s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation canвЂ™t prolong. I never forget a face, but in your case, IвЂ™ll be glad to make an exception. I donвЂ™t want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. In the end, you ignore everything and click вЂњI Agree.вЂќ Best Funny Quotes And Sayings

#Funyny quotes about endings software license#

Arguing with a women is like reading the software license agreement.